My Mind - blog

Wow how true is this?

noreply@blogspirit.com (shortshit) — Sun, 23 Oct 2005 20:44:00 -0400

16 Reasons a Girl Should Call it a Nite...

1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY purse IS.

2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING MY BUTT
WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ass AND HONESTLY
BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS
HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. I DROP MY 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH I'M
EATING EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY
ON EATING IT.

6. I START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM SOOOOO
MUCH.

7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG
PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO ME.

9. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER.

10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND
SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING.

11. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO I KEEP
THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY sexy.

12. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

13. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY GIVING ME JUST
LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

14. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN
FLOOR

15. I START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE
WRONG WAY BUT..."

16. I TAKE MY SHOES OFF BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT I'M
HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

Life

noreply@blogspirit.com (shortshit) — Tue, 27 Sep 2005 19:31:48 -0400

don't ever loose the light in your eyes. i think i might feel love again. he holds my hand in public, he'll lean over and kiss me. he told me today that the reason he likes my eyes so much is because i have animae eyes. i asked him what that ment he was like the reason animae charcters look so happy is b/c there eyes shine and sparkle, and thats what i have. how great is that. i toold him that i think we were ment to save each other, and he agreed. but not only is there this great attraction, but we can have deep conversations. and we make each other feeel at ease. and we've only really got to know each other for less than a week. i really hope this isnt fates cruel trick and hes going to have to go home, and ill never see him

im scared about next smester. i spent that first 500 dollars, i had to really. but this semsester i have to buy scrubs, and supplies, and other shit, but i can't use the six hundred they sent me

so next semester i dont know what i will do, i really dont want to ask mom and dad for help, plus ill have to pay for new books and everything. im just gonna have to start working like a dog every weekend. but i want to stay here and be near andrew. i really want us to get an aprtment next year. that would be awsome! tragic.

man hollie is not pretty and people said she didnt look bad, please im not great but better than her!

tata

I Heart Rugby!

noreply@blogspirit.com (shortshit) — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 11:20:00 -0400

i think i pushed my poor liver into overtime this weekend. i got trashed friday afternoon, then woke up just fine, thanking god i didn't have a killer hangover. so what do i do? go to my first rugby game, which i absolutely love! and no rugby game would be complete with out a good old ruby party at the rugby house. (which got busted 2 or 3 times. alot of the night is a haze). it was the best, and you meet the nicest guys. granted the majority of guys who come up and talk to you are trying to figure out how difficult it would be to get in your pants, but still, good times. i got drunk off beer for the first time, which oddly enough i find much easier to than off of liquor. but i think its b/c im not used to it. who knows.

i also, lucky me, got to talking with a guy thats also an RA , mark,in my exs dorm, and we have a great thing in common, we both highly dislike him. i found out that when he told me he was talking to Katie, he lied, it was Hollie. he "stole" her away from her ex, mark's friend. and told everyone we were broke up the whole time. which wasnt true. so he already had her lined up when he broke up with me. i've blocked him from face book, so i cant see him and he cant see me, hes called me twice,, and i still haven't called him back, so im hoping he's gonna get the point. and part of me wants to call him up and tell him to stop calling me , that i am so fucking pissed with him its not even funny, and that no i dont hate him, just despise him. and to tell him that he is ruining this whole semester for me. but then i dont want to give him the statisfaction of knowing he still has so much power over me. and dani keeps telling me that she'll call him and tell him to stop calling me, and see if that would work. i just want to know why he feels the urge to call.

then last night i reliezed how much me and jessie are alike. gabe called and said that he needed her to come over, and she went. and part of me knows where shes coming from , that s a hard situation to be in ya know. its tragic.

why is it that all guys here want to do is get in your fucking pants , and when you dont let them thats all there is, and if you do let them, thats all there is. i think i just want to turn into a icy bitch, who lets no one in or near, mabey then i could protect my heart. who knows

tata for now

Crazy shit

noreply@blogspirit.com (shortshit) — Tue, 06 Sep 2005 22:22:25 -0400

i'm in a purple place today, which is odd b/c usually i love blue. but today i feel purple. not sad, not really happy, yet more than existing. does that make sense? sometimes i wonder why my parents went from overbearing to nonexsistant in my life. i dont know if there just to afraid to be too in my life and push me away, or if they just really dont mind not being in my life. it makes my heart hurt, luckily have have my friends parents, and i have decieded to adopt them. mom doesnt even call, not my cell or dorm its like she doesnt even care, and that hurts. but i guess what ever doesnt kill you makes you stronger. damn i bet im 10 times stronger this year than any other year. its tragic, i remember when me and sarah used to be each others worlds. we were best friends and would do anything for each other. i can remember when we would have our own little christamases and make each other gifts, and play barbies. it seems like so long ago, yet like yesterday,if i could only go back just for a minute, to remember how its was to be happy with myself, and not have a care in the world, but the harder i think would i really return to mychildhood? the pain, the fear, it scares me. yet i was so sweet and innocent and ready to conquer anything. i feel so torn. im truely inbetween afraid to grow up but afraid to try to stay, and afraid to want to return. its so crazy. i thought i ahd my life planned out so well, but i dont. im living day to day, no real long term plans, just today and the moment. im scared. i scared to go to the dr, at first i thought i would have daniel to hold my hand through it, but i dont im on my own on this. what if its cancer, how will i pay for it? how will i tell my parents? i truely think i wouldnt not unless i would have to withdraw from school, or need financial help. but it could be nothing, nothing but a little bump on my cervix. god i hope so. i feel so alone. no one i can realy tell about this. i must go but more later

tata

Damn boys

noreply@blogspirit.com (shortshit) — Fri, 02 Sep 2005 00:00:00 -0400

guys are so shitty. daniel has a new chick. i mean, come the fuck on, it hasnt even been a month. but hes taken her home to see the rents. what the fuck ever. who knows mabey its his soul mate, or just a fling. after last weekend i cannot judge, and boy my roommates wont let me forget it. one crazy night of sex with a guy named gavin, and ya never live it down. but i feel i must add that its not what i expected. he seemed really into me. on the way to his house he was so sweet! he held my hand, kissed me excessively on my cheek and forehead. it was so sweet! but after sex that was it, no cuddling, no holding, nothing, just sex. and it made me miss daniel so bad. the way he would hold me, how we would cuddle and snuggle, and the pet talk. i left gavin's house feeling sad and empty and longing for daniels kind touch. the next day i went to his room and cried. i couldnt tell him why, i just made damn sure that he knew it was b/c of him. things looked better, we talked more, and we felt comfortable with each other again. i thought things were getting better, thats when he dropped the hollie bomb. that they were going to his house this saturday and having dinner with his parents. i hope she has better luck than i did. i just hope the guy im ment to be with forever, that his parents will love me the way my parents loved daniel. i know that thats not too much to ask for . i deserve someone great.

anyway, so since the night the H bomb got dropped i haven't talked to him since. three days and counting. i dont know how i would have doen it with out jessie and dani, 2 of my roommates. jess has been in this place before and is great for giving advice and knowing just when to listen. i couldn't have done this with out her. and dani she helps me by helping me keep busy, i can always depend on her to help me laugh and have fun. jess is also a comic relief. she has been the for me when ever i need her. those two girls are my best friends, with out them theres no way i could be getting through this break up.

On the up side of today i bought be first pair of real heels, they are BCBGIirls, and i got them for only $43, i love them. it would be even better if i didnt have a pinkie toe, but thats another story

tata for now

Drama, drama, drama

noreply@blogspirit.com (shortshit) — Sun, 28 Aug 2005 17:15:00 -0400

have you held everything in for so long, that it seemed like youwould explode. it seemed like you had lots of ears willing to listen, but you never know who you can trust. this summer has been crazy, at the beginning it seemed like it would be the best thing in the world. i had my closest friends by my side, i had the man of my dreams , and all was good in my world. but just a few weeks ago it changed, and the "friends" that i hadn't talked to all summer were there for me. he simply said he had made his decision, he didn't love me any more. i am so mad at him. why is it that it takes 2 people to start a relationship, yet only one to end it. i dont think thats fair, i think that both the people should be able to decied to end a relationship. well lying sack of shit, aka the ex, seemed to enjoy th break up, which left me mortified, and move straight to katie, evil girl from walters, when that didnt pan out his sights are now set to the girl above him, hollie. what is so great about them, or better yet whats so shitty about me. crazy shit. my life is nothing but drama drama drama. so now im alone, but i have my friends . atleast most of the time. last year i spent all my time with daniel, and i was cool with that. he was my world, my soul mate, my best friend. so our bonds weren't that great, now that hes gone. they're all i got. which trust me im grateful for. but there is this distance, they are best friends we're friends. which sorta makes me feel left out. in a dorm full of hundredsz of girls, i feel so alone. like i have no one to turn too. i mean i have friends in class, in dorms, and my crew. but i still feel so alone here sometimes. my heart hurts. i swear its broken sometimes. its utterly depressing. for anyone who has read this and now wants to kill themself, im sorry. it wasnt intended, but now i feel much better , like a pain has been lifted from my soul. thanks, till next time.