My Mind

wow, i never thought someone could make me feel this again. but im scared. he says he likes me, and we hold hands in public, and kiss each other goodbye, but when i called him to find out what i should tell daniel, cause i would hate to cause problems bw them, hes like just tell him the truth "you don't know" and i know neither of us are really ready for real relationships. and what scares me is that he told me thursday that he dated sarah to sorta prove tthat he could "get back on the horse. but he also said today that he doesn't start talking to a girl with out thinking there might be something there. if not its a waste of time. but the way we hold each other, and look at each other. the way he can feel me, the real me.

last night i told him he was blue, and he warned me against red. that it was bad.  he said i was white. that he didn't know what that ment. and i said mabey i was the light saving him from the dark. then he said b/c of what he felt he said, "he knew there must  be a God" but hes not atheist , but he doesnt belive in heaven or hell. and the fact that he said that is really shocking. i over anaylize things, im scsared. i like things to be in black and white. this or that. labels. i like to know where i stand with people. i gotta know. i feel like im not holding the ball when that happens. and now he might have to mive home. i cant loose him. he knows me to well. it would be like taking part of me with him. i will spend my loan money to help him get  an apartment if i have to. shit im wrapped up way too much in this.

i need some guidance.

i need help.

tata